From Single to Sex

A one night stand? A long-term relationship? Your wedding night? What will it be? The decision is all yours!

Maybe you have already made the decision. It was a one night stand. It was a long-term relationship. It will be your wedding night. From this day forward the decision is still yours!

There is grace, healing, forgiveness, and hope no matter where you stand today, but walk with me as we consider some of those choices of going from single to sex.

God created us to join into covenant with one man or one woman, and we are only to share our full body with that person. Society tells us sex is fun, harmless, and it's a good idea to test drive a partner before you commit. Biblically we are told that there is danger in being sexually promiscuous and baggage that is not quickly laid down. Society doesn't bat an eye when people have multiple sexual partners or live together and start a family with no real commitment to one another or their future.

News flash: Sex outside of marriage is a sin.

Our society's view of sex these days is so corrupted that this statement may come as a surprise to some. God created sex, strictly for marriage. It was never intended for recreational pleasure or deciding if you are a good fit with someone you are interested in. And as with most things in life, if we don't use something the way it was intended to be used, it leads to trouble. If we try to use a knife to cut paper, the paper will tear. If we use a fork to eat soup, we will be left hungry. Get the idea? If we use sex for anything other than one of the greatest gifts in marriage, it will be wasted and end in heartbreak or baggage.

The topic of sex is not taboo in the Bible. Check this out.

Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. But because there is so much sexual immorality each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband's needs.
1 Corinthians 7:1-3 NLT

But you can't say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies.  1 Corinthians 6:13 NLT

There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact.
1 Corinthians 6:16 The Message



And that is only some of the many verses in the Bible about pre-marital and marital sex.

So the decision is yours! Will you choose today to go from single to a casual sexual partner? Let's be honest, sex outside of marriage can be fun. It can be full of sweet anticipation, feelings of infatuation and can be very satisfying in the moment. After all, orgasms are not exclusive to marriage, but all of those other 'can be's' have big question marks behind them. It may or may not 'be good.' Your partner may or may not care how you feel or respect your wishes. Communication will be awkward, and you may never have a chance to talk about it. He may or may not want to see you again. She may or may not break up with you because the sex is better with someone else.  A couple of things are for certain. There will be a lot of 'may or may nots, ' and there will be baggage that I assure you, you don't want to carry into your marriage. (Remember, there is healing and complete redemption if you are willing to work for it.)

Or will you choose to be "weird" in this day in age and wait for your wedding night? It still may or may not be good at first. But your spouse will care how you feel and want to respect your wishes. Communication may be awkward in the beginning, but you will have plenty of time to talk about it and make it better. As you learn things you like and don't like and find desires you have and are growing into, you can have fun figuring it out together and know that you have decades to do so.

I am not sharing from a seat of perfection. There are things I would do differently if I could go back. But sharing from a seat of experience, I can say sex doesn't have to end or fall flat when you get married. It should be the beginning of something great. That is what God created it for! His plan is for sex to be awesome between husband and wife. Not to drop off and become boring. Imagine that all the hype society puts on sex as a young 20 something while you are dating is actually meant to happen after your wedding day. And 16 years in I can say, from my seat of experience, that sex can still be getting better decades into your marriage.

My suggestion is to save it all up the way God intended it. And when God brings your life partner, and you commit for a lifetime, open the gift of sex God has given you and let it grow from there. Don't waste any of it before your wedding night.  Look forward to decades of great sex. If done right, all of your great sex will not happen in your twenties!

The choice is yours. Which single to sex will you choose?