I Won’t Be Able To Make The Wedding

Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Request the honor of your presences at the marriage of their daughter….

Yesterday I opened a beautiful invitation to the wedding of one of our past babysitters.  Honored, because we haven’t seen her in so long, and disappointed because the wedding is approximately 23 hours away and we won’t be able to make it. I have discovered over the years that one of my favorite things to do when I have to decline an invitation to a wedding, is write a message to the bride and groom on the back of the RSVP note. I fill out the information on the front and then write ‘over’ to indicate there is a message on the other side. This time it went something like this:

Aaron and I are so honored that you included us on your invitation list even though we haven’t seen you for so many years. We wish we could be there to celebrate with you! Our prayer is that you will selflessly commit into your marriage covenant. When times get tough, agree to fight for your marriage instead of with each other. Pray together, read The Word together, and experience God together. Say ‘YES’ to His plans for your life as often as you can and your marriage will be blessed time and time again!

Many blessings on your special day, The Mummerts

I believe this is the message we too often leave out of discussions about marriage. Instead, we talk about the beautiful dress, the fabulous venue, the bridesmaids dresses that will never be worn again, the flower girl stealing the show, Aunt Sue and Cousin Jan already at it again, and what a beautiful couple the bride and groom make. It’s an exciting time because they have their whole lives ahead of them, BUT they are stepping into one of the most important commitments of their lives. It really has nothing to do with this day and everything to do with forever.

Marriage is not about a feel good relationship. It is about finding someone who you are comfortable fighting with. Someone who can see you at your worst and still encourage you, not tear you you down or try to change you. Someone you can trust with your darkest secrets and who will point you back to the Light. When things go terribly wrong, your spouse is the person you should most want by your side. The reality is, the good times can be good with almost anyone. It is the difficult times when we must carefully choose who we want filling the space around us and your spouse should be #1 on the list.

God gave us the gift of marriage because He said it was not good for Adam to be alone. (Genesis 2:18) It says God made him a helper. The definition for help is to make it easier for someone. It doesn’t say God created marriage so we could have fun with someone or so that we could be happy. He knew this life would be hard and we would need help. Although He is our ultimate ‘helper’, He was gracious enough to give us an earthly helper too, through the covenant of marriage. A person that we can always turn to, who will always be on our side, rooting for us and encouraging us.  This is what marriage is about. So, when you are thinking about marrying, don’t think about how much fun you have together or how much the person makes you laugh. That is great, but more importantly can you see yourself walking through your darkest days holding hands with this person. If you answer yes to that, then the good times will come.

Earlier I said it really has nothing to do with this day and everything to do with forever. Allow me to expand on that. If the couple is prepared for the commitment and realistic about what marriage will look like, it will make ‘this day’ all the more magical!